This post is also available in: Español (Spanish)
I need to ask you a question. How do you feel about complete silence? I know silence isn’t the norm these days because, well, this is a noisy world. But let’s say you’re home alone for few hours. Are you the type of person who needs to turn the TV on or crank up some music? Or can you stay in complete silence for a while? Since a few years ago, I personally prefer silence most of the time.
Don’t misunderstand me; I love listening to music and dancing, and I do it often. But I also love it when I have the chance to enjoy complete silence, which is one of the reasons I wake up at 4:30 a.m. most days. I love the quietness the world around me is submersed in at that time. However, I didn’t love it so much a few years ago. I was the type of person who couldn’t stand silence. I would go crazy if I didn’t have music or the TV on in the background.
Let me explain why I feel inspired to talk about silence today. Have you heard that we tend to appreciate things more deeply when we don’t have them? Have you ever experienced that feeling? I have — with many things, actually. For instance, before I had my little incident back in January and sprained my ankle, I used to walk my cute dog for about an hour or more several days during the week. I loved those walks so much. But after the incident I needed to recover properly, and I had to stop my walks completely. I almost went crazy the first few weeks. I didn’t know how much joy those walks gave me until I wasn’t able to do them anymore.
Okay, let’s get back to the topic of silence. At about a 3 a.m. this morning, about an hour before I started writing this post, I had been deeply asleep for hours and was having a beautiful dream. Suddenly, the wonderful silence was horribly interrupted by the building’s fire alarm screeching. I don’t know if you’ve ever experienced that sound before, but it’s a horrible noise. I jumped out of bed, my heart rate went crazy, my dog was desperate, and I didn’t know what to do for a minute. When I heard people running in the hallways, I grabbed my dog, my phone, and my keys and took the stairs to leave the building. The fire alarm was so loud that after few minutes my ears started ringing. I can’t imagine how the dogs felt, poor babies! The alarm stopped after about 25 minutes, and we all went back home. Since I never saw any smoke and I didn’t get an email from the property, I assume nothing bad happened. Someone probably activated the alarm as a practical joke … ha ha, right?
I couldn’t go back to sleep because my ears were still ringing like crazy. I couldn’t stop thinking about how much I would appreciate some silence. Of course, nobody likes the horrible wail of a fire alarm, or annoying sounds in general, but I know many people don’t like silence either. As I mentioned before, I used to be one of them.
The truth is that I didn’t like silence because I didn’t like where my mind would take me when I was forced to endure it without distractions. I would get really anxious with all the different thoughts and emotions coming and going in my mind. Of course, I didn’t practice meditation back then. (No, I’m not trying to sell you meditation. I just share MY personal experiences here as a way of self-reflection — you can take whatever serves you best.) 😊
I didn’t like silence because my head would become really noisy. I needed the external sounds to distract myself from the internal ones. Please keep in mind that it’s not like I had only horrible thoughts back then; I just didn’t know how to work with them (or with my emotions).
Let’s see if this explanation helps you understand a little better. Imagine you just reached this civilization directly from the jungle. You have never, ever seen a computer before, and the people around you give you one and tell you to use it. You’d probably get anxious and frustrated because you simply don’t know how to work with it, and you’d probably do anything to avoid being face-to-face with that monster. Then, once you started learning how to work with it, you’d realize how powerful it is. Eventually you’d reach a point where you’d be happy to be face-to-face with the computer with no distractions.
I felt like my mind was a monster I didn’t know how to work with, so I was always adding distractions to keep my distance from it. My divorce made me grow in so many aspects of my life, but the one I appreciate the most is mindfulness. My thoughts and emotions still come and go, but I know how to work with them a little better, which is the reason I love silence now. I’m not afraid to let my emotions come and go and notice them, feel them, and appreciate them — whether they’re good, bad, or everything in between. Since this ability is the product of a daily practice, I have made that practice a priority. I love working with my beautiful mind.
I’m curious, my friends. If you can’t stand complete silence, have you ever thought about the reason for your feelings? Think about it, and please let me know! Silence is as beautiful as your internal sounds … let it be!
Love,
Irene
P.S. I’m glad the fire alarm stopped, but I’m grateful it woke me up to reflect about this topic and share it with you. 😊
Just a suggestion.
