This post is also available in: Español (Spanish)
When I started writing this blog, I was convinced that at least one person would feel connected to or maybe inspired by my stories. Thankfully, I feel like I’m on track with this mission. I feel extremely blessed every time I get a comment that lets me know I’m helping someone. As I have mentioned before, I’m not a therapist or an expert on any of the things I share with you through my writing. I’m simply someone who likes to help in any way I can.
I’ve been sharing my life lessons every week for over a year now, and I’ve noticed that an increasing number of people are taking a moment out of their busy lives to read them. I am so grateful for that, because one of my deepest intentions is to let other people know that they are not alone. Many times, during my divorce process (and also through other hard times in my life), I felt like I was the only person fighting the kinds of battles I faced, and that’s a rough feeling—it’s not pretty at all. So, once I felt strong enough, I decided to start sharing those battles and the ways I’ve fought them. The feedback I’ve received thus far assures me we are all fighting the same battles, although from different angles.
Because of my constant work with my blog and my social media, I’ve had the amazing honor to be invited for a few interviews. These have been wonderful experiences for which I am truly grateful. What I love the most about what’s happening is that I get the chance to connect with more people, and my message about seeing the world through rose-colored glasses goes a little further.
After participating in those interviews, I’ve identified one common question I keep getting asked. That question goes something like this: “Irene, it’s amazing the way you keep working on yourself, but tell us—in real life, how can people start the beautiful journey of loving themselves and becoming better humans? Because real life is completely absorbed by problems, children, work, COVID 19, financial adversities, relationship issues … you name it. So how can people living this real life actually make the time to work on themselves?”
This is a great question, but before I give you my answer, let me clarify that I did get a little anxious for a moment when somebody first asked it. My immediate reaction was, “I don’t have enough expertise to give an answer, much less advise anybody about how to live their lives.” For a moment, I went into self-attack mode. I thought that I was merely a lucky person, and I completely removed all my efforts from the equation. I compared myself to many other people in different situations, and I briefly forgot everything I have overcome. See, like I told you last week, our emotions (positive or negative) are part of who we are, and they will come and go as we navigate our life’s journey.
When I snapped out of that little anxious moment, I realized I was scared of being judged. I didn’t want people to think that I was merely lucky because I didn’t have their same problems. Fear is a strong emotion. It has the ability to freeze us if we let it grow without facing it. As soon as I realized it was the fear talking, I forced myself to sit with that fear and see where it wanted me to go. It turned out I didn’t want people to think I had it easy. But do I have control over that? Obviously not. It didn’t matter what my answer was; I couldn’t control the way people would respond. They would analyze it from their own perspectives, and that would be totally fine. So, here’s was (is) my answer—take it for what it’s worth to you.
The truth is real life is messy for all of us. We live in a world that doesn’t leave us much time to be mindful; in fact, we’re almost always on autopilot. We have loads of responsibilities and very little time. Believe me, I get it. Finding time to meditate, to exercise, to eat healthy, and to love yourself seems impossible when the world around you is so busy and noisy. But honestly, and as trite as it sounds, where there’s a will, there’s a way—I even have a tattoo to remind me of that fact. In my humble opinion, the most important thing you need to understand to open up some time to work on yourself is that your life is built from the inside out. Everything around you works based on your internal foundation. If you are strong, positive, and healthy inside, believe me, your external world will reflect it.
I know it sounds cliché. I know it sounds like a commercial for a meditation retreat. But I promise you, it’s the truth. People let their external world take control because they’re not strong enough, internally. Once you realize this is the root of your incessant busyness, you’ll open the doors to an awesome way of living. Now, I totally understand that doing so is not easy. You’ll need to fight your current way of living, and you simply don’t have time for that, right?
Well, my advice is to do it progressively, one minute at the time. One minute of your day is nothing, but it can make a huge difference in the long term. Start by taking the first minute of each day to implement a different practice. For instance, as soon as you wake up on Monday, set your timer for one minute and use it to be grateful for the week ahead. Do the same on Tuesday, but instead of being grateful for the week, take that minute to appreciate yourself. Each day take that first minute for yourself. I promise you, this habit will give you such a good feeling that you’ll want to increase the time eventually. The best news is that you’ll discover that you actually have the time!
“Real life” is what we make of it, my friends! If your goal is to help and provide for your loved ones, please understand that the only way you can help others is by helping yourself first. If you start working from the inside out instead of letting the external world take control, you’ll find that you can change pretty much everything to make it work for you!
Love,
Irene
