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We read and hear the word “perspective” pretty often because life is all about perspective, isn’t it? Everything we let into our minds has to pass through the lens of our own perspective. If you think about it, perspective is our freedom and our imprisonment at the same time. It has the power to build us or destroy us depending on how we work around it.
What a powerful tool! But what is perspective, anyway? Cambridge Dictionary defines it as “a particular way of viewing things that depends on one’s experience and personality.” So, if perspective depends on a person’s experience and personality, each person’s perspective is obviously very unique. I don’t know if sometimes I overthink things more than I should, but I feel like this little word is more complex to explain than it may sound. Let me unfold this for you. If our perspective is how we see things based in our experiences and personalities, but we shape our personalities and experiences based on the way we see things, isn’t that confusing? 🤔
I believe this conundrum is similar to the discussion about which came first, the chicken or the egg. My intention here is not to make you overthink about the deep roots of perspective as a human quality, but to show you how important is to respect other people’s perspectives in life. Let me be clear — I’m not saying we shouldn’t give our opinion if someone has a different perspective. But we must understand that even when we think we’re absolutely right about a particular situation and the other person doesn’t see it like we do, that means their life experiences and personalities have shaped their perspectives in a different way.
The reason I’m talking about perspective today is kind of funny. I usually have a subject in mind when I’m ready to write my posts, and sometimes I need to do a little research before I sit down. So, few days ago I had my subject in mind and I needed to ask my ex-husband a question in order to put some ideas together. For some reasons I may explain in a later post, I wanted to talk about my failures as a wife. I wanted to expose some of the things I did that caused pain or any kind of emotional discomfort for my ex-husband. So, I sent him the following text:
“Hey, honest reply here, please! What were my biggest fails as a wife? I need honest feedback, so I can become a better human.”
His reply: “There isn’t anything wrong you did or I did. We were looking for something different at a particular point. I don’t think my opinion will matter because I am just me. Everyone is different and every relationship is different. So there isn’t any failure I can really describe.”
I read his reply and took a moment to think. I was totally amazed by the fact that we all have such different ways of seeing life and situations, which is why I mentioned earlier that it’s important to respect other’s people perspectives. Even though we both shared the same experience as a married couple, my way of seeing our divorce is completely different from his way of seeing it. I think we both failed in some aspects and those failures created a rupture that was impossible to fix, and he thinks we didn’t fail; we were just looking for different things. See, perspective is very unique.
Is it worth it to impose our point of view when we disagree with the way other people see a particular situation? I don’t know! That’s a very personal decision. That’s the reason I started out by saying perspective is both our freedom and our imprisonment. I believe if we live our lives trying to impose our perspectives on others, we won’t ever be free. Each one of us will experience situations differently. We may encounter some people who will share some of our points of view, and that’s great, but it’s also great when they have their own unique way to see the world.
My ex-husband just taught me that perspectives are unique, and we can achieve mental freedom the moment we realize this fact. I am extremely grateful that I have the ability to see the world through empathy, so while I may disagree with some points of view, I totally understand those point of views come from lives that are being walked by other shoes, and I can only respect that. I also know that my perspective may expand from time to time when I talk to people with different views, but it will still always have my own footprint.
Perspective is everything, my friends. We always have the choice to see every situation we face in life through the lens we decide to wear. The best thing about perspective is that, like everything in this beautiful life, it’s not permanent. We can always redefine it and reshape our own perspective so it can serve us better. If our point of view is causing us some kind of pain or discomfort, we can change it. That’s the beauty of being human!
Love,
Irene
