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Have you ever practiced yoga? Even if you haven’t, you probably know that ‘yoga’ and ‘flow’ are two words that go together. Why is a yoga practice also called a flow? Well, let’s check the definition of flow really quickly. Oxford Languages defines flow as “the action of moving along in a steady, continuous stream.” This is a perfect way to describe a yoga practice. We move from one body posture to the next in a steady way.
When we’re doing yoga, we let our breath direct the practice. We move following our breath, and that gives us the flow. I started doing yoga few years ago. If you remember, I told you a few weeks ago that I did it at first because my competitive mind wanted to achieve the headstand pose. The first few months I practiced yoga, I didn’t feel that flow. I was so obsessed with doing the handstand that I did yoga incorrectly.
If you’re a yogi, or you practice yoga often, you’re probably thinking that there isn’t a right or wrong way to do yoga because, just like meditation, yoga is based on knowing that you’re going to fail a lot—and that’s actually the right way to do it. Well, yes, you’re right. However, the reason I’m convinced that I was doing yoga incorrectly is that I was aiming for perfection. I was focused on controlling every movement perfectly, and that’s not the purpose of yoga. Like art, yoga is not about perfection. It’s about letting our inner self be exactly what it is: perfectly imperfect.
I’ve been a perfectionist my whole life and I can assure you that it’s not only exhausting; it’s the total opposite of self-love. My perfectionist personality started very early. I don’t know the reason, but I can recall hundreds of times from my childhood when I became frustrated for not getting a perfect result on something. One of the most epic examples was the competition I created in my head against the swing. Yes, you read that right. The swing at the playground.
I was four years old, and I heard my family talking about how one of my cousins got hit on her head while playing on the swing. It was one of those situations that involved lots of blood and a visit to the ER. So, I made a promise to myself. Instead of avoiding the swings, because I really loved them, I decided to always play perfectly on them. What?? How does that even make sense? How do you play “perfectly” at the playground? What do you know about perfection at the age of four? All I can say is that obviously I failed at keeping that promise because I fell off the swings a few times, and I got really frustrated. That is just one of hundreds, if not thousands, of anecdotes about my attempts to live a “perfect” life. Of course, I don’t regret who I have been all these years, I’m simply reflecting on who I want to be from now on.
Life is a flow because it’s not about perfection. Life is about moving in that steady, beautiful way we are supposed to move, and that movement doesn’t need to be perfect; it just needs to be constant. Like a yoga practice, life is about connecting with our soul and letting it flow. Some days we’ll succeed and other days we’ll fail. What we need to focus on is moving continuously and following our own rhythm. We were designed that way. Pay attention to your breath for few moments, and you’ll begin to recognize that it guides your life flow.
When I started to understand the principles of yoga, I also started my journey away from being a perfectionist. Nobody can practice yoga and meditation with purpose and keep believing they can aim for perfection, which is the reason I firmly believe that one of the best ways for human beings to find self-love is through these practices. They really teach us to see ourselves from a compassionate perspective, and that leads us to growth and self-love.
Of course, I’m not saying that you must practice yoga and meditation to find your way out of perfectionism. My writings are pure self-reflections. I like sharing them with you because I feel some people might find them helpful. I know there’s no perfect way to stop attempting to be perfect—that would defeat the whole purpose! What I really want you to get from my words is that we are all perfectly imperfect. There is no right or wrong way to live life; there is only a flow for each one of us. We need to keep moving with it.
Enjoy your life flow; let it take you from one moment to the next in an amazing, steady way. There’s no rush! Just keep dancing.
Love,
Irene
