This post is also available in: Español (Spanish)
Integrity is such a big word, isn’t it? Its meaning is so deep and complex that most of us have probably failed to have it from time to time. Oxford Languages defines integrity as “the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness.” See, I told you it’s a big word that encompasses a lot of subtleties. I have failed to show integrity a number of times in my life. Do I feel bad about it? Well, I’m not proud, but I know I’m human, and I make mistakes.
I’m not going to justify the times I’ve failed to show integrity, but I do try to analyze the reasons that led me to fail, so I can understand the way my mind works. Hey, we can’t grow if we don’t learn from our own mistakes, so let me dive into some of my failings for a moment.
I’ve mentioned before that my dad is a big advocate of integrity as the best way to live, and he does his best to lead by example. You may remember that we’re from Venezuela. Now, I’m not saying that integrity doesn’t exist over there, but my home country is ranked number five on the list of the most corrupt countries in the world. What does that mean? The system is highly corrupt, so some situations do push people to act and do things that are not in sync with their moral principles.
For instance, when I started learning how to drive, I didn’t have a driver’s license. I didn’t drive alone while I learned, but I didn’t have the legal permit to do it. To get a driver’s license the legal way, the waiting period was two-and-a-half years from the moment you applied for it until you were assigned a number to take the test. I was already in dental school when my dad bought me my first car, so we didn’t have the two-and-a-half years to wait. The other option (the one that the system pretty much forced us to choose) was to pay someone who magically had spots available immediately to take the test. This person not only got us the number to take the test, but he also provided people with the answers for it, meaning that I didn’t have to read a single page of the driver’s manual because … well … I didn’t even get the book; I got all the answers.
You know I wouldn’t tell you this story if it wasn’t worth your time, right? So, the day I was assigned to “take my test” I had a car accident. Of course I did! It was nothing serious (well, my dad might disagree due to the money he had to spend to fix the damages) but no one got hurt. I had a manual car, and the garage in my dad’s house is very inclined. So, I got in my car and turned it on without putting my foot on the brake. I slid all the way backwards and hit the garage door, which happened to be closed at the time. I know, I know … oops! I pushed the garage door completely off the rail, and the back of my car was really damaged. My neighbor helped me to move the garage door so that I was able to take the car completely out of the garage. I called my dad, and he asked me if I was hurt. When I said no, he told me, “Okay, go take your test. We’ll talk later.” The funny-not-funny thing was that the first question on the test was, “What should you do before backing up while driving?” Ugh!
What I want you to see here is that we fail to show integrity sometimes because of the conditions in which we live. I’m not justifying the bad actions I took while I was living under such a corrupt system, but survival mode is not pretty sometimes. One time I didn’t see a stop sign, so I ran through it and a police officer stopped me. When he asked me for my documents, he told me he was willing to let me go if I gave him some cash. I replied, “Please give me the ticket because I did something wrong.” He became really irritated! He kept asking me for cash, and I kept begging him to give me the ticket. He finally told me, “Just go, Miss Integrity.”
Acting with integrity in a world that pushes us to do the opposite isn’t easy. I get it. Being a good citizen requires us to pay close attention and to have common sense. When I moved to this beautiful country, I felt relieved because I believed I was finally in a place where the system wouldn’t make me act without integrity. So I decided to always put my moral principles first. I know I’m not perfect, of course. I’ve made mistakes in the past, and I know I’ll make mistakes in the future, but I promise I won’t stop working on myself to be a better human.
I always put shopping carts back in the cart corrals. I pick up other people’s garbage from the floor to throw it away. I clean up other people’s dogs’ pee in my building’s elevator. I pray for people who don’t even know me and for people who have hurt me. I don’t do things that are not aligned with my moral principles. Sometimes people get irritated at first when I don’t join them and engage in things I feel aren’t right, but I usually gain their respect when I explain my reasons. I have chosen to do things that took me double the work and effort just because they were the right things to do.
Acting with integrity means that we respect our principles more than our desires. Is it easy? No. But it is totally worth it! When we act with integrity, we have nothing to fear, and a fearless life is a happy life my friends!
Love,
Irene
