This post is also available in: Español (Spanish)
Living in this era is an amazing opportunity. The modern world is both wonderful and scary at the same time. We are interconnected as never before, with the entire world literally at the touch of our thumbs. We can talk to family, friends, and people we don’t even know no matter where they are in the world with responses that take mere seconds. We can buy things from anywhere and get them in as little as one week (depending, of course, on what we buy and from whom). My point here is that we have access to pretty much everything almost immediately.
Even though this is an incredible way to live, it has created an issue with human patience. We don’t have any! We want everything to happen immediately. We want overnight success in everything we set our minds to get, and we don’t have the patience to wait for it anymore. I say this is an issue because even though our modern world delivers pretty fast, lots of situations and desires still take time to become real. We’re not used to that, and we therefore get overwhelmed by waiting times.
I touched on this problem a little bit in a previous post, but I feel I need to dig more into it, especially during this time of year when many people make New Year’s resolutions. For instance, right now many people are at the beginning of a new diet or are getting into exercise. Others are trying meditation to see if this year they’ll really get it. Some people are focused on getting on a better financial footing, and so on—you get my point. This time of year, people generally start something new to make their lives better in some way. The reason I want to bring this subject to the table today is because usually New Year’s resolutions are long-term resolutions; you know, the ones that require patience we don’t have.
I’m guilty of the instant gratification way of living, too. However, I do usually have patience to deal with people (although some folks can get on my nerves). My job requires lots of understanding, and I’ve developed a way to be patient when guiding others. But that’s it. What little patience I have is just enough to understand others. My biggest issue is being patient with myself. I know, I know! I’m weird like that. It’s really a struggle for me to wait for results when I’m the one doing the job to get that result. I’m so disciplined that I always make the mistake of thinking that my discipline will make me progress faster. That may sound crazy, but I do feel like discipline actually pushes me a little. However, it doesn’t change the fact that there’s always a waiting time to get great, visible results.
I’ve been working on my fitness for quite some time now, and I know how much hard work it takes to progress just a little. I have slowly learned that progress in this particular matter takes time, action, and effort. I know I always bring up exercise to explain my points, but I do it because it’s fascinating to me how many aspects of life are similar to the beautiful art of working our bodies. When I first started taking exercising more seriously, I wanted the results to be visible within a couple of months. And let me emphasize that I only wanted a specific body shape at that time. I wanted visible abs and bigger, more athletic-looking legs and glutes, as all woman want after navigating Instagram for a while. When that didn’t happen in two months, I became very frustrated. I couldn’t understand why, when I was so disciplined and focused, I didn’t get the results. I argued with my trainer (he seriously deserves an award for his patience in dealing with me), and he kept telling me, “Trust the process and keep working.”
Well, I didn’t quit even though I was frustrated. Instead, I started to change my perspective. I moved my attention to how my strength was increasing, even when it was not visible in my abs or legs yet. If you read my post about the headstand, you know it took me months and a crazy amount of falling to achieve. Now, I’m working on my hip flexibility to be able to do a split. I’ve been practicing every single day since September, and I’m still not able to do it completely. I am getting closer, though!
What I want you to take from this post is that many situations and goals in this beautiful modern world we live in still require patience. Also, please understand that being patient does not mean being passive. We have to take action and do the work while understanding that our sought-after results will require some time.
Recovery from separation, for example, does not happen overnight. It takes time, action, and effort. The most important thing to start the recovery process is to decide that you want to move on. Once you decide you really want to recover from the pain of separation, you have to start working on yourself. Be clear that there is no defined time. We’re all different in that regard. For some people, healing may be faster than for others, so do yourself a favor and don’t compare your journey to other people’s process. The instant gratification we are so used to is not going to happen with divorce recovery, and that’s ok. Give yourself the time you need to heal, and be kind (to everyone including you) during that time.
Last but not least, remember to take action! The results you want from everything in life depend on the amount of action and effort you put into them.
Love,
Irene
