This post is also available in: Español (Spanish)
Before we dive into this beautiful subject, I’d love to ask you few questions. What does peace mean to you? What is YOUR definition of peace? Have you ever felt completely peaceful in your life? The intention behind these questions is to confirm my theory that, just like happiness, peace has a different meaning for each one of us. Now, I’m going to let you think about it without giving you my definition, so you can work better on developing yours.
Peace has been a subject that captured my attention almost since I was a baby. I really wanted to know why my older sister and my mom would sometimes yell about how they wanted to be left ‘in peace.’ The exact words in Spanish were: Dejenme vivir en paz!!!!!! (Yes, I needed to use that many exclamation marks because that was their level of urgency.) I remember when I was very little thinking, “So, where is this ‘peace’ place? And why do they want to move there? We’re all good here together.” 😍 Ah, don’t you love innocent minds?
But if you think about it, I wasn’t that far off the mark, since peace can actually be a place. No, I am not referring to that beautiful private island you have in mind. I mean peace can be a place in your mind where everything is quiet and nothing disturbs you. There you are. That’s my definition of peace, or rather inner peace. To me, the beautiful state of inner peace means that nothing from the outside can disturb your mind. I know you may be laughing right now. “Come on, Irene! Try to explain that to me when my children are running and screaming around the house while the dog is barking and I just received an outrageous medical bill from the visit we had to take to the ER when my youngest fell down at the playground. There is no such place as ‘inner peace’ anywhere around here.”
I get it! A million things are always going on around and within us that keep us from realizing the wonderful privilege of inner peace. It’s not easy to tap into something when we don’t even know if it’s real. Well, that’s exactly why I started this post by asking you for YOUR definition of peace. I don’t have any idea what peace means to you. I know what it means for me, and I’ve shared it here not to convince you I’m right, but rather to encourage you to find your own definition. Maybe for you, peace means knowing you can provide and care for your children. Or maybe it means you can sleep well at night. Maybe you feel completely peaceful when you see a loved one smiling.
Inner peace isn’t a continuous feeling. Like all feelings, it comes and goes. It’s not permanent. I believe many people have the mistaken idea that inner peace and happiness should be permanent, so they try really hard to feel happy and peaceful all the time, when what they actually get is frustrated because they can’t reach that point. We waste so much time trying to make those good feelings last longer that we don’t realize how trying to force them to stay only makes them shorter.
Of course, positive feelings are much more pleasant, right? We function so much better when we feel happy and peaceful. We should embrace those moments and keep working on feeling them more often. But we also need to understand that all feelings have their purpose in our lives. We live in a world of paradoxes, and inner peace is no exception. The more we accept all feelings, including the negative ones, the more peaceful we’ll feel over time. It’s a constant practice. When we stop forcing inner peace and instead focus on simply accepting all our feelings, that’s the moment we start having more of those moments of peace. That’s when we finally get to the place called peace. Imagine it like this: Inner peace is a place within your mind that has a closed door. You have the key to open that door, but you need to practice using it. Once you know how to properly use it, you can get into that state of mind whenever you want. It doesn’t matter what’s going on outside—you have the key, you know how to use it, and no one can take that away from you.
Even though our definitions of inner peace may be different, the bottom line is always similar. Peace is a state where disturbances have no access. What takes you to that state? Well, that’s what is different for each one of us. I feel peaceful watching my puppy sleeping or listening to the sweet voices of my nephews. I can also find that inner peace place inside my mind sometimes when I sit down in meditation. Please note I said SOMETIMES because in reality, I don’t get to that point every single time I sit to meditate. The most important thing to know is that we all have access to that peaceful place. We simply need to learn how to unlock that door and understand it won’t open right away every time.
Inner peace is a beautiful place where annoyances have no room, my friends. If you learn how to open that door, you’ll always have access to it. Just keep practicing and keep welcoming all your feelings, even the ones you don’t enjoy very much. They all serve a purpose.
Love,
Irene
