This post is also available in: Español (Spanish)
If you are an empath like me, I know the title of this post won’t make any sense to you. Empaths simply don’t understand indifference. We are all the way across the room, on the opposite side of this state of mind. For example, I stopped following news channels and reading the news every day, not because I’m indifferent, but because I care too much. At one point in my life (before meditation found me), I didn’t know how to manage my extremely high level of empathy. Reading bad news was very painful because I didn’t know how to understand the message without putting myself in the shoes of the person or people who were suffering in some way (as people who make the news almost invariably are).
We all know that stories involving a conflict between people have two sides. The common human tendency is to sympathize with the side that aligns with our beliefs and values. Then, we name each side as the “good one” and the “bad one.” We file everything aligned with our perception to the good side, and everything that isn’t goes automatically to the bad side. Our perceptions depend on our values and principles. I have mentioned this before, but I want to say it again: We could all play on both sides, depending on how the people judging our actions perceive them.
Even when I don’t read the news, when something big is happening it finds a way to reach my eyes and ears. For instance, I would be lying to myself (and you) if I tried to deny that the situation between Ukraine and Russia has caught my attention. By ‘catching my attention,’ I mean I simply can’t be indifferent to this situation. My meditation practice has helped me a lot in many ways, but I’m still human and I’m still an empath. It hurts me greatly to see that as humans we have evolved tremendously in almost every aspect of life except in our social interaction with each other. I don’t classify this war as having one good side and one bad one. All I can see is innocent people suffering because of politics and geopolitics.
My boyfriend and I are watching this great TV show called Outlander. If you haven’t watched it, I highly recommend it. The reason I mention it is because the show contains a great deal of history and depicts battles that were fought back in the 1700s. We were watching one episode the other day, and I couldn’t stop wondering why, after 250 years, we keep behaving the same way. Politics, money, and power are still the reason behind wars and battles. Innocent people keep dying and suffering because we simply can’t follow the most fundamental rules of humanity.
We must respect each other, and we must understand we all have a space in this world. Living our lives and letting others live theirs shouldn’t be this difficult, but somehow we keep making things harder than they should be. I firmly believe that if we all had integrity, conflicts wouldn’t exist. Lack of integrity, combined with indifference, is the primary cause of all our social battles. Explained more directly, the lack-of-integrity mindset would sound something like this: “I have zero moral principles and I really don’t care how that affects others.”
It’s a fact that individually we can’t do much to stop the battle between those countries. Well, we can always pray and send love, which it is better than simply ignoring what’s happening. But we don’t have the ability to enter the minds of the politicians leading the battle to make them think differently. So, what can we do? Since we don’t have control over others, we must keep working on ourselves. Be the person you wish others were. Be nice if you want others to be nice. Be respectful if you want others to be respectful. Be the example, not because you don’t want others to judge you, but because you truly believe in and respect your values. Be a good person, especially when no one is watching you.
Don’t fall into the trap of becoming indifferent because caring hurts sometimes. Caring means you have a heart filled with feelings; don’t be afraid to use it. Remember, caring doesn’t mean you have to carry other people’s emotional baggage; you only have control over yours. But you can always be kind enough to understand the heaviness they are carrying. Please understand that no one in this world is in charge of YOUR emotional baggage. Lately, I’ve seen people who are extremely clear they won’t carry anyone’s baggage … including their own. If we all truly did our part, this world would be a better place.
When you become indifferent, you may protect yourself for a moment, but the consequences in the long term are worse than the pain of being empathic. Empathy only hurts when you don’t know how to manage it. The moment you learn how to understand other people’s feelings when they’re hurt, without feeling guilty for not having the power to stop their pain, that’s the moment you’ll know you’ve mastered the art of managing empathy. Understanding other’s pain doesn’t mean you can stop it; it only means you’re there for them to help them believe they can manage it.
Don’t be indifferent, my friends. Caring will fulfill you way more than indifference can, even when it may hurt a little at first. The only thing you need to do to make this world a better place is make sure you’re a good person—the kind you’d always want to have by your side. Be everything you wish the people around you were, and see how by doing so the world around you starts changing.
Love,
Irene
