This post is also available in: Español (Spanish)
Have you ever been in a therapy session—the kind that helps you overcome a tough situation or any mental concern? I feel like people talk about their experiences with mental health therapy lately a lot more than they did years ago. For some reason, the word “therapy” used to (and for some people still does) have a stigma attached to it. We used to hear things like, “People will think I’m crazy if I go to a therapist.” But the truth is that therapy is a great way to help ourselves during difficult times. We’re all crazy anyway. 😊
That being said, I’d like to share with you my two experiences with therapy sessions, and then I’ll give you some free advice for which you didn’t ask. (But I’m going to share it anyway, just in case you need it one day.)
I went to a marriage therapy session when I asked for a divorce the first time. (If you’re new to this blog, let me clarify that I haven’t divorced multiple times; I just had to ask for a divorce three times, until my ex-husband finally said yes.) The first time I asked, my ex-husband told me we needed to work harder to fix the relationship. So, I scheduled a session with a relationship therapist. Even though he didn’t have much faith in therapists, my ex-husband agreed to go, which was a great gesture on his part.
I’m not going to go over the details of that session because that would make this post way too long, but the takeaway for me after our only session was that therapists can help A LOT if you need to find out the main cause of your emotional crisis. They know what and how to ask you questions that get to the place where all your emotional turbulence is generated. For some people, that might be terrifying because once you get there, well, you need to work on it if you want to get better or at least understand yourself in a better way. I got what I needed from that one session, and I didn’t feel the need to go back. But it was a tremendous help and an eye-opener for sure.
The second time I talked to a therapist, my fertility doctor required it. Let me give you a little background on that. A few months after I got divorced, I decided to do artificial insemination, and because I was doing it on my own, the fertility clinic required me to complete a session with a therapist to make sure I was completely confident about whether I really wanted to do it. This was a different type of therapy, since it involved the therapist talking more than me after she asked me few questions. But again, I was able to see how they have a way of asking questions that make you see situations from different perspectives; thus, you can work with a bigger and clearer vision.
My bank account is really happy with the fact that I didn’t need more therapy at that time to keep working on my emotional turbulence. As you might know, I found meditation, and then I was able to help myself. Mental therapy is a great tool, though, and I would recommend it to anyone who feels their emotional turbulence is out of control, or even to people who just need some advice from someone who’s not related to them. Believe me, therapists have seen and heard it all; they’ve dealt with things you wouldn’t believe. Most of the time, they’ll provide you with great advice.
Now, I will tell you one thing here for free, and it’s the same thing you’d hear from thousands of different therapists. In order for you to know if something is bothering you unconsciously, you need to spend some time with yourself. It’s the simplest practice ever, yet it’s very effective. If you hate being alone, and you have an urge to be around people all the time, then something is bothering you about your own self. I love human connection, and I love being around my loved ones, but I also enjoy being alone. The moment I feel like I can’t handle being alone, I know something isn’t right.
When we truly like ourselves and are proud of everything we are, we don’t feel the need to cover the silence when we’re by ourselves. We can enjoy our own company the same way we enjoy being with others. Any therapist will recommend you spend some alone time first. They’ll ask you to spend some time “working” on finding the main source of your emotional turmoil, but you have to do it alone. I can guarantee you that you’ll answer deep emotional questions very differently when you’re by yourself.
So, if you don’t have the money at this very moment to go to a therapist, and you feel like something isn’t quite right inside your mind, take some time to be by yourself. The more anxious you feel doing that practice, the more work you’ll need to do to overcome whatever it is that’s bothering you. Now, let’s be clear—I’m not a therapist, and I’m not saying you can solve all your mental and emotional issues by yourself. I’m just saying that if you don’t know where to start, you can try spending some time alone to see how that goes. If that practice feels too intense, then ask for help as soon as you can.
We all have mental and emotional turbulence, my friends. It doesn’t mean we’re crazy (or maybe it does, but then we’re all the same, so there’s nothing wrong with it). My free advice for you is to always check with yourself to see how much you like you. Because the more you like yourself, the more peace you’ll feel, and the more peaceful you feel, the more happiness you’ll spread.
Love,
Irene
