This post is also available in: Español (Spanish)
Goodbyes are always a hard pill to swallow. Well, let me correct that phrase: Goodbyes to our loved ones are always a hard pill to swallow. Everything is great until the time comes to hug them right before they leave. When I get to that moment, I have a harder time swallowing my own saliva and my muscles contract (against my will). I don’t like that feeling.
If you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you might know I’m from Venezuela. My home country is beautiful, but it has been politically devastated. So, millions of its citizens, like myself, have been forced to emigrate all over the world in hopes of finding better opportunities. The reason I’m telling you this is to give you an idea of how many times I’ve had to say goodbye to loved ones. I feel like I’ve done it so many times that I don’t even know the number. In addition, my parents got divorced when I was 11 years old, and I moved to a different city with my mom, so I was forced to say goodbye to my dad and siblings multiple times a year.
You may have noticed I didn’t say I got “used to” saying goodbye because I feel we (at least I) never do. Goodbyes are always hard for me. Even though I’ve done it hundreds of times, I always get the same weird feeling, and I always end up crying. I’m no better at this goodbye thing simply because I’ve had so much experience. It’s still as painful as it was 29 years ago. My family is everything to me, and it’s not easy to deal with the fact that we’re all separated in four different countries.
A few days ago, I had to say goodbye to my sweet nephew Jack because his family is moving to Ohio this weekend. Since my sister gave me the news, I’ve been trying to be strong. Jack has autism, so I’m not sure he’s fully aware of what’s going on, which is why I wanted to be super strong when the moment came to give him that goodbye hug. I’m sorry to report that I completely failed. Even writing this right now makes my throat close and my muscles contract. I’m not and will never be used to saying goodbye to my loved ones. I feel sad knowing I won’t be able to simply get in my car and drive a short distance to see them. I’ve lived close to Jack since he was born, and I’m used to hugging him and playing with him at least once a month. I am his tia, and he always gets as excited as I do whenever we see each other.
I’m not sure if all the experience I have saying goodbye is a good thing or not. Well, obviously, I don’t like doing it, but if I look at it from a positive perspective, having the experience may help me keep in mind that true love never decreases simply because miles separate people. For example, I haven’t seen my dad in six years, but I talk to him every single day, and I love him with all my heart. I know distance doesn’t damage good relationships, but I also know that we’re all constantly changing. So, we must ensure we keep in contact with our loved ones to swim and flow with the changes without any issues.
I’m going to miss Jack, my sister, and my brother-in-law for sure. But I support everything that makes them happier, even if that means I won’t be able to see them as often as I would like. I need to find a good way to keep in contact with Jack, since he’s not a fan of video calls or calls at all. If you have good ideas, send them to me, please! I’ll go visit them as often as is possible for all of us, and I’m going to make sure to hug Jack as much as he lets me when I see him again. If you’re a religious person and pray every day, I would like to ask you a little favor; please include Jack one day in your prayers and ask for a quick, easy adjustment for him. He just lost his beloved grandpa (who lived with them for the past four years) a few months ago, and he’s going to a new state with completely different weather, a new school, and a new house. It’s a lot for him to take at once, especially since change is hard for him, so if you have few seconds, please include him in your prayers. I would be forever grateful!
How do you feel when you have to say goodbye to your loved ones? Are you the strong, silent type who doesn’t cry, or are you emotional like me? Do you have a particular memory about the hardest goodbye you’ve experienced? I still remember like yesterday the moment I hugged my dad when I was moving to this country … and I still feel like crying every time I remember it. My dad is very strong, but he got emotional that day, and that broke my heart in a million pieces.
Saying goodbye to our loved ones when they’re going far away from us isn’t an easy task, my friends. My best advice (with my huge experience in this matter) is to always let your feelings out. If you feel like crying, do it. If you feel like hugging a little harder, do it. If you feel like writing your goodbyes because it’s easier, do it. Whatever helps you let them know you’re going to miss them a lot, do that! At the end of day, saying goodbye hurts because we love them, and that’s a good thing.
Love,
Irene
