External likes vs. internal love…

This post is also available in: Español (Spanish)

Isn’t it funny how so many people live their lives based on the number of ‘likes’ they get on social media? While it’s true that social media has changed the world in many awesome ways, like many things in life, it also has a collateral effect that is far from good. In my view, we all pay too much attention to the number of followers we have or how many ‘likes’ we get for one picture. I know I’ve talked about this subject before, but it’s shocking to see how many people live their lives based on their social media feedback.

 

I’ve already written a post about external validation that explains the reason we constantly seek other people’s approval and validation. My intention today is to expose the ugliness of living a life where social media ‘likes’ have complete control over people. Please don’t misunderstand me — I love how social media enhances our lives in many different ways, but we have to understand that too many people are giving more attention to external likes than internal love.

 

To be honest, at one point in my life I too paid a lot of attention to the amount of likes or views my posts received. I didn’t like to feel like I was “wasting” a post. That’s crazy, right? How in the world could I waste something that is always available? How could I waste something that I put out there with an honest intention behind it? More importantly, how could I waste something that I considered important enough to be shared? Now, when I think about it, I realize that my social media is simply a reflection of the things I like and the things I consider important and aligned with my values.

 

I was talking to a friend few weeks ago, and he told me something that I’m still processing (which is how I landed in this post). He told me that whenever he posts something that doesn’t get a certain amount of likes, he deletes it. I asked him why, and he told me that he can’t stand seeing his profile with less than ‘X’ number of likes. So, I asked him another question: “Is your social media for you or for others?” To which he replied without hesitation, “Of course it’s for others.”

 

His answer had me thinking for some time. The majority of people build their social media pages with the intention to get attention from others, and I get that. I mean, it is called social media for a reason, right? We’re supposed to connect with others through it. So, if we’re supposed to connect with others, then we need to upload content with the intention to please others. In that way, we can connect with lots of people, which is the main reason we have social media accounts. It sounds obvious, right? In order for us to connect with more and more people, we need to keep uploading things that other people want to see.

 

Honestly, I don’t find anything wrong with the fact that some people build their social media accounts to get external validation. I respect that philosophy. It’s a way to get connected, and that’s fine. What I don’t understand is when people become addicted to the feeling of receiving likes and views, and they start posting all kinds of content. The addiction to those external likes becomes so strong that sometimes people completely forget their principles and values, and they just post based on what’s trendy. Or even worse, they start posting things that aren’t real, merely to get attention. In my opinion, that’s sad. However, it’s even worse knowing that a lot of people manage their social media that way on purpose.

 

I firmly believe that the more you seek those likes and views on your social media and the more attention you pay to them, the more love you need to build from the inside out. I have said this many times before, and I’m going to repeat it because it’s imperative to understand that the more you love yourself and the more love you build from within, the less energy you will give away to external approvals such as likes and views.

 

As with everything in life, this philosophy is also a paradox. As soon as you start using your social media for you and from your own level of self-love, more people will feel like you’re real. I promise you your life won’t collapse if you don’t get ‘X’ amount of views or likes on your social media posts. Likes and views are just another way to get external validation. Your life will be more peaceful if you dedicate your energy to approving of and loving yourself first.

 

Internal love will bring you the best ‘like’ in the world, my friends … YOURS! When you let go the necessity and addiction to feeling approved by others, you will have way more time to work on yourself from within, and the more you love and approve of yourself, the more other people will respect you. Use your social media as a true reflection of your internal love, and that will spread love around. Then, when we all get in synch with that movement, the world will be a better place.

 

Love,

 

Irene