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Since the beginning of humanity, it seems like the million-dollar question has been: what do women want? However, I’d like to make a correction to that question. It should be: what do people want? No, I’m not a hard-core feminist; it’s just that people in general seem to be looking for something they haven’t found yet. That’s the reason this question is so difficult to answer. Do you know what you want?
I was talking to some friends a few days ago, and we all agreed that childhood today is a completely different game compared to when we were kids. This statement might sound like something grandparents say (and we’re not even 40 yet!) but the world has changed so dramatically in the last decade that we don’t have any other option but to accept that we can’t raise children the same way our parents did.
Our parents didn’t have to deal with Google, Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, and all the social media noise that we experience today. I can’t ever tell my nephews to accept something I say simply because I’m the grownup (like my mom used to do with us) because my nephews will Google my words to confirm if I’m right. And have you seen the insane number of different toys available today? It’s crazy!
Between the unlimited access to pretty much everything from the internet and the absurd amount of toys (for little ones and grownups) available today, we have a million different ways to keep distracted. Still, we seem to get bored so easily, and I include both children and adults in this assertion. Sometimes it looks like we have so many options that we just don’t enjoy any of them. Have you ever read a restaurant menu with so many options that it overwhelmed you instead of making you happy to have choices? Well, I believe we’re experiencing something similar in life today.
I’ve been analyzing this idea for quite some time. Of course, I always use myself first as a guinea pig for my empirical analysis of human behaviors. Hey, it’s a smart choice because if something goes wrong, I’m the only one who has to swallow the mistake 😂. I was watching a movie the other day, and a few minutes into it I started to feel bored, so I grabbed my phone to check Pinterest while I was ‘watching’ the movie. I jumped around Pinterest, Instagram, and Google, and I was still feeling bored. I had the movie and the whole world (a.k.a., my phone) completely available to distract me, but the truth is I didn’t know if I really wanted to watch the movie, eat ice cream, or play with my phone. I had so many options available that I was overwhelmed. And I must admit that I was guilty of letting myself get to the point where I was looking for external gratification because I just didn’t want to check in for a moment to see what was going on inside.
When I finally decided to check internally to figure out what was really happening, I realized I was simply trying to procrastinate. I had some pending tasks to complete that weren’t my favorites, so I threw myself into distraction mode. Obviously, it didn’t work because my mind won’t let me enjoy something until I complete what I’ve marked as a priority. After many meditation sessions, I finally accept my mind as a great friend. I used to blame my mind for many things, but after a while, watching it from a different perspective, I have to admit I really love it.
It’s true that we have a billion options today to distract ourselves and entertain our minds. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing, but we first need to know what we need in order for us to completely enjoy all those distractions. When you pay close attention to your mind, you’re able to understand that it works by fulfilling simple, basic needs. All the drama we form around us is just that—drama … movies … unreality. But when you go deep, you’ll see that the need is a simple one, and as soon as you fulfill it, you can enjoy yourself more.
The paradox here is that you’ll never enjoy a distraction until you don’t need to be distracted in the first place. Crazy, right? But it’s the truth! In addition, I truly believe this is the reason so many people jump from one relationship to the next one without ever finding the right person. The issue isn’t the relationships per se. The issue is that they have a basic unfulfilled need (because they simply don’t know what that need is), so they keep looking for something else to fill it. If you’re in that situation, I invite you to take a moment for yourself. Give yourself some time to find out what the basic need is behind the drama movie you’re creating. I promise you that as soon as you realize the simplicity of what you really need, you’ll enjoy your life even if your perfect significant other hasn’t arrived yet.
The moment you don’t need to be distracted anymore is the moment you’ll truly enjoy all the distractions around you, my friends. Life is very simple, and so are our minds. Drop the drama, turn off the movie, and your life will change for the better even if nothing externally changes.
Love,
Irene
