This post is also available in: Español (Spanish)
These past few days, I’ve needed to wear bigger rose-colored glasses. The reason is simple: there are bad people in the world, and sometimes we have to encounter this fact face-to-face. I’ve encountered bad people a number of times in my life. Even though I decided long ago to always find the good around me, sometimes a reminder is sent my way that lets me know that, unfortunately, not all humans have good intentions and good hearts.
I’m not going to share the details of what I experienced because it’s not worth your time or my energy. I’m only going to share the lessons I learned from these past few days, in case they might help you somehow.
One of the most important things I realized is that a clear conscience makes the best pillow. My dad always says that we are each completely responsible to take care of two things: our bodies and our good names. He says that acting with integrity is the best way to make sure that our heads aren’t heavy when we go to sleep. Acting with integrity means always doing the right thing, even when (especially when) no one is around.
These past few days, I’ve dealt with some extra work and discomforts due to other people’s lack of integrity and really bad intentions. In addition, I witnessed a very ugly separation. When I had the opportunity to talk to one of the participants, I said what I always do and advised them to always be the good one. Even though the circumstances were a little out of control, I advised this person to understand the reasons why the other party might react with that level of anger. I told the person to understand that the other party was hurting and their reactions were simply based in anger. I also said that we always have the choice to acknowledge our mistakes and start being a better human.
That whole crazy situation was created from the choices some people made to act without integrity. I am not pardoning their choices. I am simply reflecting on my dad’s life lessons. Being a good human requires us to make extra efforts because acting with integrity means that sometimes we have to fight our natural minds and desires to keep them from controlling us. That’s easier said than done, of course. We all know that doing battle with our own minds is grueling sometimes, and it’s easier to let the “bad guy” in all of us win. It’s also easy to criticize and judge others when we don’t have any idea what their battles look like. I’m not justifying bad intentions by any means, but I know how strong an uncontrolled mind can be. One of the best ways I keep focused on being a good human and acting with integrity is by repeating one of Pablo Neruda’s quotes as a mantra: “I am free to make my own choices, but I am a prisoner of the consequences.” Good choices = Good consequences.
Speaking of choices and consequences, this whole crazy situation impacted me and some of the people around me even though we were not directly involved, which made me reflect on the way we’re all connected. Many times, I hear someone say that they can do whatever they want with their life because it belongs to them, but I can’t stop thinking about how all our actions have the ability to impact others in positive or negative ways. If you don’t quite understand this concept yet, stop and think for a moment about how we ended up dealing with Covid 19. One person made one choice, and BOOM! The whole world changed. So, my question is, if you have the power to impact others so much, don’t you think it’s worthwhile to work a little harder to be a good human?
Sometimes reality feels heavy. Being forced to see the world without my rose-colored glasses for a moment is a hard test for me. I always want to find something good in everyone, so when I can’t, it’s ugly. The only thing I can do is pray for those who keep choosing the easy path. People who let the “bad guy” inside them win need help, but I know I can’t help anyone who doesn’t want it. All I can do is keep praying for them. As my beautiful friend Tita told me the other day, “It’s great that you’ve chosen to live inside a huge, pink bubble because you can still see what’s going on outside of it, but you can always filter what you let in.”
Well, I have decided to let only what serves me into my pink bubble. Today, more than ever before, I know that being a good human pays off—big time! I know that more good people exist than bad ones. I know the bad ones are fighting huge battles, and it must be really hard to live inside their minds. I know integrity is the best pillow I have. I love going to bed with a light head. I love being the person I am. I love the way my parents taught me to live life: be good and do good, especially when no one is watching you!
For the people with bad intentions: I will keep praying for you! I’m serious. I hope God’s love finds its way into your hearts and makes you realize how wonderful it feels to work a little harder to win the battle against the dark side of your minds.
For everyone going through a separation, always choose to be the good one because your inner peace depends on it, and inner peace, my friends, does not have a price!
Love,
Irene
