This post is also available in: Español (Spanish)
What’s the first thing that comes to your mind when you see the word ‘priorities’? I’ve mentioned before that I like to the singular version of that word because I take what’s really important to me very seriously, and in my humble opinion, the moment we pay attention to more than one thing at the same time, it’s very likely one of those things won’t get the consideration it should.
However, if we’re talking about life in general, it’s fair to use the plural form of the word. Priorities are the things that really matter to us. Some people may rank family and health as their top two priorities, some others may prioritize money and personal growth, and some people may consider spiritual beliefs and self-love to be their most valuable priorities. Priorities are different for each one of us, and there’s nothing wrong with that. As I’ve mentioned several times before, it all comes down to perspective. Your perspective will shape your life’s priority list.
In fact, probably the most important thing to understand around priorities is that they look different for each individual person. I can’t stress that idea enough. We can get so frustrated when we see people caring about things that aren’t important to us, but we totally forget that they see life through their own eyes and perspective, and they have the right (just like we do) to decide what’s important to them. I used to judge people because of their priorities, but I’m slowly learning that we’re all simply different—what’s important to me doesn’t have to be important to others, and vice-versa. I know it’s not easy to stop judging people’s priorities. I’m still far from mastering that part of myself, but I can assure you that the more I try to do it, the more I open space in my mind to fill it with wisdom that truly serves me, and I believe it will be the same for you.
The reason I decided to write about my learning process around life’s priorities was simply because I was tested in this area a few days ago. My boyfriend and I were planning a little weekend getaway with the intention to visit his sister, so I could finally meet her in person and he could spend some time with his niece. I haven’t taken a vacation in long, long time, so I got a little extra excited about the idea of taking a mini vacation. I was looking into nice hotels close to the beach, and my idea was to spend the days with his family and then do some fun things at night. My boyfriend didn’t seem as excited as I was, and for a minute I didn’t understand why. So, I talked to him and found out that what he wanted most was to share some quality time with his sister.
I took some time to think about the whole situation and realized that our priorities were different at that particular moment. I placed more value on my vacation time, and he cared more about his time with family. Because I’m a family person, I completely understood his point and decided to stay with his family in their house for the entire weekend … and I’m so grateful we did! I had a wonderful time with them. They are loving and caring people, and it was a blessing to see how happy my boyfriend was the entire time we were there. By the simple act of refocusing my priority to synch with my boyfriend at that time, I was able to make him happy and reinforce my inner belief that family is one of our biggest treasures in life.
Nothing was wrong with my priority, per se, but I decided to change it because I value family time a lot … and that’s the second point I want to make about priorities: We need to understand that it’s okay if we change them from time to time. Our priorities will change depending on what’s going on in our lives at the present moment. Maybe my highest priority in life is my family, but if I’m experiencing a situation that requires me to focus on my personal growth for a time, then I need to be okay with that. I need to give myself permission to understand what matters most to keep me navigating my life from a place of love and pure joy.
We don’t need to understand why or how people classify their priorities. We simply need to respect everyone’s right to choose what matters most to them, even if it doesn’t make sense from our perspective. For example, if your friend’s priority at the moment is to have a nice pair of fancy shoes, don’t judge her (or him). If your mom’s priority is to spend more time with her grandchildren on Christmas, then let her do it if possible. Believe me, individual priorities won’t make sense to the rest of the world, even when they’re the purest ones (hello Jesus, Mother Theresa, Martin Luther King, you name it). We need more real tolerance in this world and less judgment.
Be clear about your priorities, but also be kind enough to respect other people’s life priority lists, my friends. Let’s keep working on being better humans, which means practicing more respect and empathy. As I always say, we’re all fighting the same battles, just from different angles.
Love,
Irene
