This post is also available in: Español (Spanish)
So, tell me … what brought you here? This question is only for those of you who have never read one of my blog posts, but as soon as you saw an opportunity to keep gossiping about my personal life you clicked the link. You know who you are, and I know who you are. Well, I know who some of you are, although I’ve never even met many of you. Still, I know you talk about me.
It’s not common for me to talk here about negative subjects. Yes people, get over it—divorce isn’t a negative subject; it’s just a subject like anything else. Its negative connotation is furnished by us. My blog is a space for me to share a journey that many of us have gone through, and the intention behind it is to give some hope that divorce and separation can be faced in a smart, friendly way. Every single post here has a positive perspective (even when the main theme might sound negative at first) because, well, that’s the way I see life.
Today is not an exception. Gossip is a horrible, negative practice, I know. I have a hard time trying to understand why people go around talking about others without knowing the truth or even the person about whom they’re talking. I think gossip must generate some kind of highly-addictive pleasure, that’s why people do it. Some people use cocaine, others marijuana, still others tobacco, alcohol, or even food, and then we have the souls who get addicted to gossip. Oh, and by the way, if you’re one of those who clicked the link thinking you’d find more fodder for your addiction, I’m sorry for disappointing you. I always write long introductions, so bear with me for a second.
Let me explain to you a little about why I decided to discuss gossip today. I saw a message from someone who barely knows me, saying that he knew everything about my current romantic relationship since it started (according to him more than three years ago). Please note, I highlighted the phrase ‘according to him’ because it was really funny to me to learn from someone else that I was in a relationship without knowing. That means I was in a relationship right in the middle of my divorce. Come on, people! I didn’t even have time to deal with my divorce while we were building a company from zero and I was doing my best to survive the grief of a miscarriage. But according to this guy, I was already dating my current boyfriend. What? If you’re going to lie, at least get the facts straight first. Why would someone tell such a blatant lie? What would he gain by talking about people he doesn’t even know?
I absolutely don’t understand the reasons behind gossip. I don’t get why people who I don’t know talk about me and my personal life. All I know is that I really live inside my big pink bubble, and I don’t mind other people’s business. I came to understand a long time ago that my time should be invested in myself and the people for whom I love and care. My energy is completely dedicated to everything directly related to me: my inner peace, my family, my boyfriend, my friends, my company, my mind, my body, my health, and last but not least, my puppy. I’m so busy taking care of my life that even if I wanted to sniff around other people’s lives, I simply don’t have the time to do it. Minding my own business takes all my time, and I love that!
To be honest with you, I didn’t even get angry when I saw this ridiculous gossip. Instead, I felt sorry for that person because I know he’s just wasting his own time giving me and my boyfriend his energy. Whether it took him one or five minutes to come up with that lie, it was one or five minutes of his own time dedicated to someone else. Do the math—for every minute you take to create a story about someone who you don’t even know (or even about someone you do know) you’re dedicating that time and energy to something that won’t pay your bills … unless you’re a novelist or a fiction writer.
Gossiping in 2022—really? If we were back in the 90s when we didn’t have things like screenshots and phone cameras, I would understand it a little better. But today, I don’t buy any story that can’t be proven. If you have something to say about someone, why don’t you go to that person first? If you have questions about their lives, why don’t you go and ask them directly? You’re not close enough to ask? Then leave them alone. Stop wasting YOUR time in other people’s lives. God gave you your time so you could use it FOR you, and when you use it for others, it should be to build and do good. Gossiping is the worse addiction ever because it takes you on a lonely path. The truth will always be the truth, and people will find it. The more you gossip, the more people you’ll lose. So, when you have the urge to gossip about something, think about how much time you’d be wasting on something that won’t pay your bills or do you any good at all.
So, what’s the positive message here, Irene? Well, I’ve learned that minding my own business is one of the best practices for a fulfilling life, my friends! I’m sure you’ve all heard a saying that goes something like this: “You need to see the darkness, so you can appreciate the light.” Seeing a gossip so close made me aware of how happily I live my life. So, thank you to those who keep giving us their time and energy, but I’ll keep praying for you to find the freedom to live your OWN life.
Love,
Irene
